Living Doll

I made a doll of myself as a birthday present for my boyfriend.

I moulded the head, hands and feet from terracotta polymer. I shaped the face to look like mine and painted on short black hair. On the doll’s inner right wrist, I scratched my one visible tattoo. The fabric for its clothes was cut from a pair of my old painting jeans. I hand-stitched it, and stuffed the clothed arms and body with cotton. I made a sword, a heart, and an anchor from black Fimo, flattening them with my hands so my finger and palm prints are faintly visible. The rope of the anchor is my hair. It's my natural colour, lightened by the sun. The hair was cut at a hairdresser I once went to with my boyfriend and I’d kept it ever since.

I've never made anything like this before so I had to work it out as I went. Last night I kept looking at the doll, amazed that I'd made such a beautiful thing. I know lots of people like to keep what they make, especially if they think it's good, but I can't describe how much pleasure I got from giving it to my boyfriend. It was like giving myself to him all over again.