Monday, March 05, 2007

Kill Buddha On The Road

I've started running again. I run along the local backroads and the beaches. I don't give a toss about exercise, nor about gyms with their programs and their exercise machines, their personal trainers counting down seconds and calories. I run because I love the rhythm of it, the repetition of my feet striking the ground. Treadmills are too controlling, the motion on them forced. Outside, I have to propel myself and each step varies a little according to the changing terrain.
I've been inactive for nearly two years. I get out of breath quickly, maybe because of all the corrosive paint fumes I've inhaled for so long. But I don't care. I like to feel my lungs under pressure. The meditative idea of being aware of every movement of my body becomes a reality. I think of nothing. I don't try to do anything at all except move. I let my thoughts drift until they finally disconnect.
I grew up watching my mother meditate twice a day. I did it too, for some time. But it's not my way anymore. Being still just makes me feel more remote, fragmented. The more active my body is, the more I am able to find a space within my mind for ideas to develop.

1 comment:

crybaby said...

i can't meditate either. makes me restless.

that's a great drawing miss, really like it.