Friday, December 21, 2007

Holy Fuck

I've had unusual gifts from strangers before but those I received today in the mail certainly take the, um, cherry. Apparently inspired by the brief piece I wrote recently about my collection of sex toys, an anonymous somebody sent me two unusual dildoes and a butt plug. One of the dildoes was in the shape of a plump golden Buddha, the other of Jesus on a luminescent white cross. The butt plug was a swaddled infant Jesus. All were moulded in a soft, pliable, flesh-like silicon that was seductive to touch.
I loved them. Still, despite being an atheist, there's no way I'd use even faux-religious artifacts for self-stimulation – let alone slide the centrepiece of the Nativity scene up my ass, especially over Christmas.

6 comments:

Jason said...

Heh, those toys look like they’d be fun way to prove that god doesn’t exist…

If you’re able to use them, to *ahem* completion, then you can safely assume that there’s no one ‘upstairs’ to be offended by the blasphemy.

If anything was gonna earn you a lightning bolt to the head it would be inserting a representation of your god’s only son up your ass.

Steve Caldwell said...

I guess it gives us another interpretation for the hymn lyric "o cum all ye faithful."

Kruze said...

Jason, you so missed the point!!

Dina said...

Another apt hymn might be "Nearer My God To Thee"... not so Christmassy, but then who needs crackers when you have goodies like these in (or is that 'between') your stockings?

Jennie Rosenbaum said...

Oh wow- what a great addition! I am jealous, I've never seen those ones before (I have seen a virgin mary however - raises all sorts of questions in my book) you have to wonder what some of the designers are thinking sometimes! I agree though, I'd never actually use vibes like those but they are so deliciously wrong, wonderfully, delightfully wrong.

Now if only I could get the images of nuns out of my head...

Anonymous said...

I know you're regarded as one of Australia's best erotic artists so it's good to have some sense of your sources of inspiration :-)! However, more seriously, you're willingness to discuss sexuality, emotion and creativity so frankly, so regularly, highlights the fact that you are also a genuine feminist.