Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Out Of The Mix

When I'm working, I listen to mix tapes – or, more accurately, playlists – that I make up from several thousand tracks stored on iTunes.
I was preparing one tonight when I came across some tracks that an old friend downloaded to me last year. We used to have similar tastes. Now, I realise, we don't. The time
we spent together just a few years ago feels like another life.
I often feel old when I talk to my peers. I've felt since I was a teenage but more acute now. Maybe I have a low threshold of boredom or an insatiable hunger for new
experiences. Maybe it's simply that I find it hard to settle the way they have. Whatever the reason, I'm so discconnected from people my age it's as if I'm living in a parallel world with no points of interaction or exchange
I don't drink, smoke, or do illegal drugs. I can't remember the last time I went to a club. I spent my early twenties in a studio, mostly alone, painting although I still found time to go to a different rave, festival, club, or party every night (and, sometimes, day) of the week. Looking back, I was never really interested in the content but I was curious about the context. These days, I still spend nearly all my time in the studio. I go out a hell of a lot less.
And why should I? I connect best with most people through making art. It might be connection at a remove – I make a work then anyone who
wants to engage with it can, without me having to be around – but it feels like the only kind that has any potential to deliver fulfillment or satisfaction to us both.

No comments: