Friday, October 17, 2008

Just A Bad Memory

Once, when I was younger, I flew a thousand miles for a party launching a group exhibition which included my work. Of the dozen artists involved, I was the only female.
The party was held at a bland, post-modern mansion filled with blue-chip paintings by all the usual suspects. The host was tall and too evenly tanned, with skin like well-oiled saddle leather. His hair had the iridescent sheen of expensive conditioning. When I arrived, I overheard a photographer hiss, “What the fuck is she doing here?”. I heard someone else joke that the exhibition was the first to feature the work of of nine artists and a fashion model.
At the end of the night, a collector asked me for a tongue kiss. I complained about it to a dealer who represented my work. “Oh, he was just drunk,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. He probably won’t even remember it in the morning.” But I still remember it.
It’ll be great for my career, I told myself when I was invited to be part of the exhibition. By the time it opened, I couldn’t help feeling like a whore.


sarahelizabeth said...

Quite a story. Sorry...

Daniel Sanger said...

That's just horrible - on the upside you can rest assured you've surpassed all of them with your success/talent.

Mona said...

Dudu P is up there if you want it/ beautiful music for the summer


Modern Philodoxos said...

unfortunately, it seems to matter very little what you are or what you do when youre a woman. you come to realize that, when you get past the very transparent layer of polite pretense, men will ultimately see you as a sex object. they may respect what you produce, but they will never be able to respect you for producing it.

Possum said...


You have been thru crap and back - but it is good that you put these stories out there.
Aspiring artists just starting out will most likely fall into the same traps - but some may just find your words - and be warned - and will do things differently - or at the very least - be aware.
Sorry you had to go thru that shit - but maybe - just maybe - writing about it will ensure someone else won't.

Have a great w'end Miss Hazel.

Anonymous said...

They say that 99% of the time men are only thinking about one thing. A lot of beautiful women say they feel a relief when in their more mature years feel free from the more disrespectful attention. I think some men feel threatened by successful intelligent women and as an assertion of their power they treat a woman in the way you described to assert their delusion of male superiority. Poor sods.