Friday, April 17, 2009

Crazy, When I Was Young

“Wanna try on the wig?” the DJ asked me, holding out a mirror.
It was a tired joke between us. A year ago, I had snorted cocaine for the first time. After the first hit, a bunch of us tried to flag a cab to a party. We were laughing, smiling, sucking on cigarettes, chewing gum and swilling water. I was wearing a black Cleopatra-style wig. Weaving down the main street of a petit bourgeois suburb, between customers sitting at sidewalk tables outside cafés and restaurants, I'd declared, loudly, ”I love this wig.” I remember breathing in and feeling a heady rush of pure pleasure. It emanated from my heart to the tingling nerve-endings at the tips of my fingers and toes. I thought, “I feel so good and confident and sexy. Wearing this wig makes me feel alright about everything.” But all I was was high.
Like ecstasy, coke only ever felt really good the first time. I tried a lot of other drugs afterwards to recapture that careless, fleeting, seductive feeling – and never did. I don't do any of them anymore.


Anonymous said...

I picked up a guy years ago at what was called an 'opera party' being an after show event. He was doing franknfurter in the Rocky Horror Show at the Princess Theatre and I was impressed so when he offered me cocaine at my place I did what I was told. He told me I would suddenly find myself theorising about anything and everything. This didn't quite happen or maybe it did I am not sure. I did feel specially good for a while. The next day I felt very down. My one and only cocaine experience - maybe I should try it again. Twice in a lifetime can't hurt a girl - alcohol is not doing as well as it should lately :-) I haven't done much more with other drugs either, but have known and met people who are no longer alive due to these dubious pleasures.
vee gee

Anonymous said...

I tried a lot of drugs in my teens, mostly dope, but also various pills including morphine. I gave them all up at 19, working out pretty quick that they weren't doing me any good. In my 30s, I went out with a girl who smoked dope and I consequently tried it again after a 21 year absence. It really was an interesting experience.

First, I had developed on a psychic level, and I found the effects very 'dark'. The energy was dark. It put me inside my head and divorced me from reality, a feeling I never want again. Psychically, it opened up this dark layer, exposing me to energy I don't want to experience again.

Now, some years later, and my daughter has permanent mental illness, triggered by her teenage dope-smoking.


Art News Blog said...

Dope smoking is one of the most dangerous things a teen or any other age can do. I have seen it take down a few very important people in my life.. people that really mattered. I hate the shit. Even if I do do still take a puff or two if I have have had too many red wines (and am hanging around hippies).

Drugs do suck though. If you can't get a high from a paint brush or pencil you arent trying hard enough.

The biggest highs I have ever felt have involved a paint brush and had nothing to do with herbs, tablets, or powders.