Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Drawing A Line Within
I'm often asked how I feel about revealing so much of myself in my work – especially in the sexually graphic photographs and drawings and the frank, confessional posts on this blog. I'm not sure I know the answer. In all my work, I think only about what's needed to express and explore an idea with honesty. I don't hold back. Where I expose myself the most – and with the greatest emotional vulnerability – is in the line-work of my drawings. Whether I'm sketching loosely for a watercolour or draughting precisely for an enamel painting, the lines reflect my state of mind. Anxiety makes them heavy and lacking subtlety or variation: small details are drawn, erased and re-worked repeatedly and my hand trembles. When I'm stable and happy, the lines run smooth, fast, and are much freer and more confident.Ironically, I draw best when I feel nothing. It's not about being numb. It's about allowing a deeper, subconscious state – one that influences without being apparent – guide my hand rather than having a temporary, 'surface' mood overwhelm my control and undermine the work.