Friday, November 06, 2009
Opening Another Vein
I took some time out to untangle my thoughts about where I want to go next with my work. The last time I did this in earnest was in early 2006. The result: the works that became Venus In Hell. I don't have any sense yet of what might come of this, although I suspect it'll be messy, violent, dark and different to what I've done before. I started by writing down all the things I've tried not to think about for a long time: things that have made me angry or ashamed, things I've tried to forget. Not all of them make sense now although sometimes I stumbled upon clues that helped me resolve puzzles that have bothered me for years. I tried to stay detached and unemotional – it wasn't easy – so I could mine as much unrefined data as possible. I didn't stop to think or reflect. If I couldn't find the right words, I drew small pictures to come back to later.Truth is, I was afraid to stop. If I did, I might have felt I was losing my grip. My head was (still is) full of random images – like fragments of raw film footage – snatches of dialogue and faint, half-forgotten tastes and smells, all jumbled together. The key was not to try to sort them out, to edit them, but to keep going, to let it all spill out in one, purging stream-of-consciousness. I still have no idea whether I can make art out of any of it.