Sunday, May 09, 2010
When I left the clinic, nearly a month ago, I had to re-build the basic structure of my life. Only in the past couple of weeks have I been able to focus on making art again.I'd fallen out of practice. My hand was rusty, my eye imprecise. It took hours of disciplined drawing to regain my self-confidence. Now I'm ready to return to the studio. In a funny way, I've missed the dreadful miasma of enamel fumes. But I've resolved to be more careful about how I manage my exposure to them, just as I'll have to manage how I divide my time between creating new works and re-making those I destroyed when I went crazy at the beginning of the year. I'm not going to rush anything. There's an awful lot to do, from building a number of new timber frames for enamel paintings to laying out a 'mechanical' but still hand-made process to produce a large number of the Yes/No Stencils. The only way to get though it all is to to plan each step. It can be a tedious exercise. But I've learned that if I'm going to be productive as an artist, a chaotic, passionate intensity is useful only when it comes to conceiving the work, not making it. It might not be true for everyone but for me to think of it any other way is tempting disaster.