Friday, August 20, 2010

100 Things You Still Don't Know About Me, Part One

I realised only this morning that this blog will soon reach its fourth anniversary.
The first entry was on 23rd August, 2006. The most recent entry, a week ago, was the 750th. In between, its monthly readership has increased from a couple of dozen regulars, most of them friends or collectors, to several thousand. Aspects of its narrative have seeped onto Facebook, Twitter (in more than 7,250 'tweets') and YouTube, where it has found many more new 'friends' – and foes. In 2006, I had barely 200 subscribers to my monthly email newsletter, Studio Notes; now there are more than 8,500.
It's hard to imagine, given the candour with which I've written about – and illustrated and photographed – myself during the past four years that there can be anything about me left unrevealed. "True realism consists in revealing the surprising things which habit keeps covered and prevents us from seeing," Jean Cocteau wrote. I have taken his words to heart. The following list of random facts about me, which I'll post in four parts, might not be surprising but all of them are true. They might help some to 'see' better what my art, my writing and my life are really about.
1. I was baptised under a watering can, with the words, "If there's a God, please take care of this child."
2. During my early childhood my family was self-sufficient in a practical, bohemian, non-hippy-commune way. We owned a milk-cow named Germaine, after Germaine Greer.
3. As a child, I kissed flower buds thinking that it would encourage them to open.
4. I always have fresh cut flowers in my room. I prefer old fashioned roses, freesias, gardenias, jonquils or orange blossom. When I was young and broke, I'd pick flowering weeds.
5. I learned to ride a motorbike at aged six. My father still wants me to ride his custom-built Harley Davidson.
6. I masturbated for the first time at age seven, by accident, sliding down the pole of a jungle gym. The frottage of pussy on pony saddle was a joy discovered just a year or so later.
7. My earliest sexual fantasies – long before I understood sex itself – were extremely weird. I have yet to tell anyone about them.
8. My first crush was on Ming The Merciless, in the Flash Gordon comic; my second was the androgynous monk, Tripitaka, from the TV show, Monkey.
9. By the time I was 11, I knew how to drive. Being a country girl, I also had a rifle and shotgun license.
10. I skipped seventh grade at school.
11. I went as the devil to
my first kids' dress up party. I wore black leggings, black pointed leather shoes and a red velvet jacket. I made a tail out of an old black power cord with the three-pronged plug at the end. I stuck cut-out horns onto a headband.
12. I remember events based on the layout of the places where they happened. they're like maps or architectural drawings in my imagination.
13. The first film I ever saw on the big screen was Ghandi (at a drive-in)
14. The first play I saw was Emerald City, a satire by David Williamson about Sydney's film and publishing businesses, at the Sydney Opera House.
15. I am a good horse-rider but I hurt my back badly when I fell off a donkey (I'm not sure I'll live this down).
16. As a kid, I didn't believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. I didn't use 'pet' words for penis or vagina.
17. I had to beg my feminist mother for a Barbie doll. Eventually, she gave in but I was furious that she bought my brother one at the same time.
18. I've worked since I was 15. My first job was at an ice-cream shop. My uniform was a short skirt and t-shirt, which I hated. I had to stand in a display window and make waffle cones or worse, walk around offering sample flavours to passers-by. I included the job in my series of Career Babes paintings.
19. I was bullied in high school by other girls. (After about two years I snapped. I was excessively cruel to the instigator. She never seemed to understand why. I stopped because it didn't solve anything or make me feel better.)
20.I had sex for the first time with an English teacher of mine when I was just 16. He should have known better but instead he boasted of taking my virginity. I knew enough even then to know that both the sex and he were awful. (I'd wanted to be a writer. After him, I stopped reading for pleasure and didn't write another word for a decade.)
21. I dislike my Australian accent. Still, like many Australians, I swear. A lot. 'Motherfucker' is a favorite. So is 'dick'.
22. I have a fetish for lingerie made of extremely fine matte silk. And yes, I really do wear pink panties – when I wear panties.
23. I rarely wear hosiery but when I do, it's stockings with a garter belt. I hate tights.
24. At 17, I ran away with a girlfriend to London on a one-way ticket, via Japan. I told my father I was going to Japan to teach English and that I'd be back in a month. I wasn't.
25. I've been fired from most of the menial jobs I've had, usually for what was described as "a bad attitude". There are some who'd fire me from art, if they could – for the same reason.
(To be continued)


Lorna said...

This made me think of the Sisters of Mercy lyric to

counting the days in the haze around you
Susanne on the wall

no pain, summer rain
I'm lost for stupid again
we are the same
give it a name Susanne

counting the days in the haze around you
Susanne let the ether fall
out of phase, I am all around you
Susanne on the wall

no pain, summer rain
I'm lost for stupid again
we are the same
give it a name Susan

JenXer said...

Your baptism is the best I've read about. I wish more children were given this simple blessing, and no more.

Mona said...

A donkey LOL! No I don't think you will live that one down sorry! It was funny I only recently heard yr voice for the first time at that radio interview, yr accent is fine! Finally belated birthday wishes.

ani said...

i totally luv the devil costume! :D