Friday, December 03, 2010

In My Room

I have a small room of my own in my father's house. I work there on the days I'm not at the studio. There are a desk, a chair, and a futon laid out on a bare timber floor. There's a crude timber bookshelf with too many books on it. Strewn in between are storage boxes, files, a half-packed overnight bag, more books and my computer. It has the careless messiness of a teenager's bedroom. And it's where I do some of my best work.
I spend nearly every day in a large, open, concrete-floored shed, at the edge of a semi-rural town an hour outside Brisbane. W
ith an assistant, I work on up to four paintings at a time and struggle to suppress the nauseating effects of long exposure to enamel fumes.
When I return to my room and shut the door, there's a sense of solitude, of everything slowing. I sit at my desk to draw, write or surf the web. I sprawl across the futon for business calls or (too infrequently, these days) to read a book. It's a private space. Noone, not even my boyfriend, visits me here.
It's not somewhere I fuck.
If I work late, I sleep on the futon. I always wake early in the morning, when the light is still an aqueous grey with no heat in it. Sometimes, I surrender to a sleepy but insistent rush of longing and make myself come. The tension pent-up from a day hunched over a sketch pad or computer keyboard recedes with the first breathless press of pleasure. And afterwards, I sleep again for a short while, dreamless.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are one saucey honest poetic bird who could make me jump the fence with one single glance :)

Corey Rankin said...

The enamal fumes aren't doing you any favours. Hope you have good ventilation (fans) in your shed and a healthy diet.

José Luis Moreno-Ruiz said...

A Heaven's Room!
(Hazel Dooney is a celestial artist!)
JL

Holly Hartwell said...

I'm with Corey, you need to take care of yourself H. There'd be nothing left worth reading if you weren't here!

Antonia Chaffey said...

I gave up oils and anything requiring toxic solvents ages ago, including photographic chemicals. Headaches, chest pains, depression and nausea were incentive enough, before i knew about the carcinogens. Hazel beware!! maybe i willmake a piece about THAT