Saturday, January 22, 2011

Twisted Tits

As the late Hunter S. Thompson used to remind us, some days the going gets seriously weird.
I'm thinking weird like From Dusk 'Til Dawn, the film written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Robert Rodriguez. It starts out as a noir-ish, over-the-top and cliché-ridden store-heist-gone-bad-turned-kidnap-ordeal but about half-way through morphs into a gorey, Russ Meyer-like, vampire schlock-horror comedy, most of it played out in a roadhouse called the Titty Twister. The titties are first-class, too, belonging to a pneumatic but still youthful Selma Hayek (pictured above), with George Clooney as a testosterone-pumped retooling of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
My day got weird when I came across a lengthy post on a blog titled, somewhat unimaginatively, Artdomain Art Marketing Blog. The post, like my day, started out ordinarily enough: another somewhat didactic, run-of-the-mill assessment of my art and career, indistinguishable from scores of others littering the web. But it didn't take more than a couple of paragraphs before it turned... odd. The rather long, over-written entry outlined a hypothesis that my success was entirely due to it having been promoted by unidentified architects of a New World Order – whom the blogger refers to as the Globalists.
These shadowy puppetmasters "have identified the family as the source of strength for people,that must be destroyed. By destroying this universal power base for people, the Globalists know that they will have less resistance as their New World Order and tyranny are rolled out."
The writer admitted, "I admire Hazel Dooney in many ways... but I can’t help but wonder if she may be a pawn in the Globalists' game and that her art is promoted and supported, partly due to the fact that her lifestyle choices and art supports their agenda."
Of course, according to the blogs' readers, who commented at length beneath this ineptly cobbled-together tripe, these unlikely contentions didn't go far enough. My "lesbian art" was just the tip of an iceberg which threatened to sink the God-willed dominance of the male of our species: "I do not know if it’s possible to make any meaningful definition or even an attempt to explore women’s sexuality outside the men’s context," one commenter wailed, "it just becomes devoid of any meaning."
Another argued that "the advertising scene is driven predominately by young women. Many of them are the artists because they come cheaper than the men."
Which is funny, really, because the one thing everyone concedes about my art, even my harshest critics, is that it doesn't come cheap.
But that probably just adds more grist to the Globalist conspiracy mill.

6 comments:

Kyle said...

Global conspiracy? I just thought you worked at it day and night. Wow.

Karen Martin Sampson said...

As Alice is reported to have said while falling down the rabbit hole into Wonderland..."curiouser and curiouser..."

Dave C. said...

These are the same people that believe in chem-trails and missiles being launched off the west coast of the U.S. They aren't worth any of your time at all.

talkabout_this said...

What a lark. I want a button, no a name tag. "Hi! My name is Paul" Supporting Member Globalists International

Anonymous said...

You really need to get out more.

Forrest Long said...

There are alot of strange people out there with weird ideas. When you get in the public eye you are certain to run into them eventually and end up at the receiving end of their insanity. Just means you've touched a nerve. That's good! Keep at it. Your work is great!