I've come to the end of my course of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I've had a couple of fleeting glimpses of its efficacy but little more. The treatment has been extended, my medication changed. I am not being discharged from the clinic for another two weeks. I spend the morning summarising the last two weeks for my psychiatrist. I use the notes to draw a mood chart tracing my various, sometimes simultaneous, states of mind. The middle line is stability. The parallel lines on either side are the 'functional zone' – which allow for ups and downs that are not debilitating. I need to exist within them. The almost straight line with small x's mark my depression. The jagged line is my agitation and rage. If my madness has a map, this is it.